Stephanie Marie

The most interesting conversations happen with your partner and sometimes other dancers during a contra dance. Most revolve around the quality of the band or of the dancing itself. During one of the swings of a dance, I was asked something that cannot be answered in the space of two twirls. The question was, “How long have you been transgendered?” This was someone whom I’ve thanked for being welcoming from day one. So I did not have a problem with her asking. My answer was, “All my life.” I realized though that may not have been what she was asking. As we met for each “balance and swing,” I tried to fill in the gaps best I could. I thought of each of the various iterations of the questions. Perhaps this was a chance to add a bit more to my back story as a transgendered woman. How long have you been transgendered? The literal answer to this question is the one I gave: all my life. I was born this way so I have always been transgendered. My identity (i.e. what is in my brain) has always...

I promised a recap of story links from past posts at Transgender Adventures in History: My Dream Dress A Place to be a Southern Belle A Place to be a Southern Belle Pt. 2 A New Adventure Realized A Step Forward into the Past Ripples This past weekend was tremendous attending both Southern Comfort Conference in Atlanta and Feet Retreat in Danbury, NC. As I mentioned earlier, my SCC trip was shortened due to scheduling and finances. I once again had a wonderful time with the http://vanityclub.com/ ladies Thursday night at the lovely Maggiano’s in Perimeter Mall. I enjoy every chance to dress up and breaking bread with friends I haven’t seen in so long. I finally went with one of my prom dresses with a black velvet short sleeve bodice and taffeta wine red skirt. Everyone looked lovely which you would expect from our group. I do have some pictures forthcoming. Friday morning, I had the pleasure of presenting Transgender Adventures in History for the second year. It was nice to see some fa...

Hoop skirt, check. Corset, check. Big cotton dress, check. Lots of makeup and digital camera, check! Hmmm, it must be time for Southern Comfort Conference (SCC) in Atlanta with a bit of a historical twist. For those who have not heard of SCC, it is the largest transgender gathering in the world. For several days every fall, the community comes together in a celebration of its gender gifts. The three main days of SCC (Sept. 24-26) consists of seminars, outings, luncheons, and the marketplace in the lovely Crowne Plaza Ravinia in northern Atlanta. It concludes Saturday night with a formal dinner. This year’s theme is “Heroes in Our Lives,” and many efforts are being made during SCC to recognize those who have gone before us and many who are thankfully still contributing. SCC will be a bit different for me this time as I am only staying one night and two days (Thursday/Friday). I will once again gather with my Vanity Club sisters Thursday evening at a local Italian restaurant for our a...

While the fall season technically does not begin for another two weeks, the cooler air has me thinking of October and November instead of the last days of summer. I speak often of the playfulness of the hot temperatures and late sunsets giving way to the seriousness of the changing leaves and shorter days. I feel it once again as my focus shifts to the important work at hand. Specifically for me, that means a continuous search for free lance video production jobs (which has been going better as of late). It also involves planning for many events such as a Southern Comfort Conference presentation and the Transgender Day of Remembrance on November 20th. There are many other exciting endeavors, some of which I hope to share with you. Labor day weekend was very nice with a Charlotte Gender Alliance meeting on Saturday and then three straight nights of contra dancing. Talking with my friend Pamela Jones after the meeting Saturday, I was very excited about going out. I think some of my t...

In my efforts to move my femme side into the mainstream, I had been looking for something, anything I could do regularly with a social group. Anything from a book club to yoga would have been sufficient. Civil War reenacting has been somewhat of a small step that will eventually become a giant leap. However certain barriers that I have detailed in past blog posts prevent me from immersing myself completely in reenacting. It is frustrating to say the least but hardly an impossible situation. Following my Bentonville outing in March, a couple of my reenacting friends invited me to something called a contra dance. I had seen pictures of them dancing on Facebook and had no idea what it was about. It seemed fun, and my friends described it as “uplifting” and “stress relieving.” The music (something between bluegrass, country, and folk) seemed pretty fun. Just what the doctor ordered I thought. My first dance was at a small community center called Pleasant Green in Durham, NC. It is quite th...

The Charlotte Gender Alliance cordially invites all to the Transgender Living Experience and Library at the LGBT Community Center the evening of Tuesday, July 21, 2009. As part of Pride Charlotte week, the Transgender Living Experience and Library will feature members from the local transgender community presenting topics related to their expertise and past experiences. Topics include transition issues, community outreach, religion, and history. Visitors will have the opportunity to browse at their leisure and “check out” each presentation with ample opportunity for questions. Special exhibits related to the transgender community will also be available for viewing and study. Doors at the LGBT Community Center open at 6:30 pm the evening of Tuesday, July 21, 2009. The Transgender Living Experience and Library will open at 7 pm with a special introduction of the presenters, topics, and exhibits. Visitors are welcome to drop in and browse anytime afterwards until 9 pm. Light refreshments ...

Evaluation is a good thing. Believe me, I have gotten much of it over the past several weeks, and most of it has been positive. Special kudos go to Christopher Graham on a positive post on his Whig Hill blog . It's one thing to read the very kind personal notes. It's another to write positively in a public blog. All the support is very much appreciated. Self-evaluation is also important. Taking a good look at yourself and deciding on areas of improvement is the one constant of the human race. In my case, improvement must come in many ways. Number one is my overall feminine impression. Number two is my knowledge and period skills. Fortunately I have numerous opportunities to work on the above. Another question that has been vexing to my transgender friends and me is the idea of kindred spirits in history. Surely, there were those throughout time that found ways to live as their true selves. History records much better the exploits of genetic women taking on traditionally male r...

During the past week as I became aware of some of the tension caused by my Bentonville visit, my recurring thought was, “All this fuss over lil ol’ me?” Really I don’t think I’m that big of a deal, but I do understand my presence and my feminine impression was disturbing to many. My goal is to be as accurate as possible in my impression. It will take some time to make all the parts and pieces fit right, and I do have more obstacles than most attempting that impression. As I stated at the end of my last post, I do feel there is a place for me in the reenacting world. As my northern supporter stated very well, one of the problems facing living history groups is that of accessibility. The entrance cost is quite high especially for women with the many layers of clothing required to come close to the period correct look. I myself had to buy a corset (which arrived this weekend from Abraham’s Lady … thank you!), a bonnet from Timely Tresses , some passable boots, and the pantalets. For someo...

Update (March 29, 2009): I generally do not accept overly negative or anonymous comments. However I thought some of my readers may find the opposing viewpoint interesting. I will have a response of sorts to post soon. Oh, the name is Stephanie Marie :) Yesterday (March 21), I attended my first reenactment in female costume at the Battle of Bentonville . It was an experience to say the least. I knew it would be an education stepping out as a transgender woman into a mainstream and somewhat conservative environment. I was shown much kindness particularly by my fellow reenactors. Many of the site visitors weren’t quite sure how to approach me. However the staff was completely supportive of me and helped in so many ways. Much like my first Ghost Walk at Latta Plantation , I will learn from where I am lacking. I spent Friday night at a hotel in Smithfield, NC. Still needing some passable boots for a Civil War era civilian woman, I ventured to the outdoor outlet mall. Most of my outings ove...

Those who live in the Charlotte area have probably seen the story of Anne Marie Clukey, a transgender women fired from her job as a maintenance worker with the City of Charlotte. Here are some of the links to the local media: Charlotte Observer WCNC News 36 Several things disturb me about this story, but the saddest part is that this is not news for many in the TG community. Everyday, even closeted crossdressers face the fear of being outed for something they may only do once a month. In this case, a transsexual woman living in stealth simply living her life had her past come back to haunt her. She was a valued employee until her manager found out she had once been a man. In the manager's eyes, that made Ms. Clukey no longer worthy of basic respect. She was passed over for promotions and eventually fired. Reading between the lines, it seems that her co-workers had accepted her long ago, and her being TS wasn't really a issue. It was only the manager who didn't know who had ...

While getting ready for the snowstorm of the century set to hit the Tar Heel state, I realized I had not updated my gaming list in a year. I wrote an unusual post about computer games that fit my feminine personality well. Note that many of my selections do not necessarily have female characters. I love Tomb Raider as much as the next person, but I do not think most buy it to admire Lara Croft's sparkling personality. I like my games to be a little deeper, a little more involved, and if it involves a pretty girl, so be it. So here's my recent list. Note that not all of these have been released in the past year. I have at least one game on my hard drive I play regularly that is twenty years old. If a game has staying power with me, then I will keep it. rFactor (2005, Image Space Incorporated) is not only one of the best PC racing games of all time. It might be the best direct download ever too. A road course racer at heart, rFactor was designed from the ground up with a mod fri...

The above title may seem appropriate for most of the nation as winter has truly arrived. Here in the not so deep south, the thermometer will plunge below 10 degrees. Talk about brrrrrrrr! Fortunately no snow or ice, but that is the coldest in aboout four years for the Charlotte, NC area. I have a good online reenacting friend from Wisconsin who is laughing at us silly southerners quite hard right now. At least, we'll make it back above freezing this weekend. I have jokes with many friends that I like to watch Lawrence of Arabia the coldest night of the year. Makes me feel a lot warmer! Well I did just that tonight. I'm sure I'll finish tomorrow night. With all the extra time at home due to unemployment, I've spent a bit of it rearranging my apartment in addition to sending out resumes and making phone calls. For many years, I had a bad habit of setting gifts aside and not looking at them for maybe as much as a couple of years. We've all gotten the odd article of clo...

I hope everyone is enjoying a happy and safe start to their new year. I am among many who were glad to say good bye to 2008. Despite the lack of posts, I have been fairly busy including unfortunately joining the ranks of the unemployed. If anyone needs a good video producer,I'm your woman, or man, or whatever! Yes, I get confused too. I've had the honor of meeting Elke Kennedy of Sean's Last Wish and getting to know her a little bit over the past year. Her story of resilience in the face of unspeakable tragedy is an inspiration to all who hear her story. I have written about the murder of Sean Kennedy and the unjustly short sentence given to his murderer, Stephen Moller. I put to you the following request from Elke: Sean Kennedy's family will never see justice done for Sean. Because of the inadequacy of South Carolina murder laws and the lack of hate crime statutes, his killer, Stephen Andrew Moller, could be out of prison as early as February. We must protest this inj...