Monday, March 24, 2008

Roll the Video

A very bad first video, but it gives you a nice look at my favorite Civil War dress with a little sparkle thrown in for good measure.



Stories with this dress:

Latta Plantation Ghost Walk

My Dream Dress



Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Finding That Perfect Dress, Part II

Today we will look at some general tips for shopping for formal dresses. Most of these are common sense, but many still overlook them. Again, everything here applies to both genetic and t-girls.

1. Start Early

I would suggest starting at least two months ahead of time before a planned formal. Add another month if it’s during prom season. This gives you time to find the dress, have it altered, accessorize, and have a picture session ahead of time. Most of the nice shops have extra staff during the busy prom and debutante season and can work you into their alteration schedule. Make sure you have the same shoes and underwear you are planning on wearing when you go to have your dress altered. Don’t skip or delay these appointments if you are shooting for a certain date. At Poffie Girls in Gastonia, NC, they worked with over 400 girls during prom season alone!

Now if you’re not on a schedule, you can do the above at a more leisurely pace. Just understand that if you don’t give a specific date during a busy period, you will probably be pushed to the back of their schedule.


2. Do Your Research

When you have a formal coming up, know what style of dress is on the invitation (semi-formal, black tie, etc.). Many shops are geared to specific events such as the prom and the debutante ball and will have the appropriate dresses in stock. Also look at the price range, and set a budget for your entire outfit including accessories. That is a number you can give to the store ahead of time. Finally research the dress styles by visiting online sites and reading fashion catalogs. That leads to the next tip.

3. Try Several Styles

Some events like a debutante ball are specific with the dress styles. Others are more open ended which allows you to experiment a little. Admittedly the number of choices can be overwhelming with different looks in length, cut, material, and color. Also add in the current fashion trends which can send you a direction you don’t want to go, and the new dress buyer can be in for frustration. That is why it is important to try on several different dresses each time. Get into the habit of trying on something that you think you wouldn’t like. You may surprise yourself! It is quite the experience when you find the dress that is truly you.

4. Accessorize!

Once you have found the dress, you’re only half finished. The accessories truly complete the look. I love finding the perfect necklace and the right set of gloves with each of my dresses. It’s like they were meant for each other. Also find a nice set of shoes. Even a second pair that is more comfortable for later in the night is not a bad idea. Schedule an appointment with your hairdresser, and have her help you. Don’t be afraid to play with different hairstyles. For cold nights, find a nice fur coat or shawl. Mix and match as you see fit. Play with different combinations once you have your dress. Try the outfit on at least once beforehand with all your accessories to see how they come together.

5. Be Nice to the Help

While working with Jackie, the seamstress at Poffie Girls, she told me so many stories of snooty girls who couldn’t find the time to stand still or get off their cell phones while having their dresses altered. She then told how nice I had been. When it came time to ask for some pictures, I know she was more than glad to help me out.

The moral of the above story is that it pays to be nice to people no matter the situation. However, many young women do not take the dress buying process seriously enough to take advantage of the best resource… the people. Be nice and respectful to the sales lady and the seamstress. They can make your life so much easier. They want you to be a happy customer so you’ll come back. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. They are professionals who have dealt with most situations and can make your dress buying experience as close to perfection as possible. Use their knowledge to your benefit, and be sure to thank them afterwards. It really will come back to you in a positive way.

6. Have Fun!

All of my dress buying trips have been on my own, and I have a blast each time. Even as a T-gal with an admittedly deep voice, I am not afraid to chat it up. I have the best conversations. I have been fortunate that most times, I have not been on a schedule for a particular event. Ninety percent of the time, I have seen a dress and picked an upcoming event that it would match. So I suppose I do things in reverse. I also love making a full girl’s day out with a pedicure, shopping, and eating out. It is difficult to enjoy if it is one thing in an already hectic schedule. In short, don’t just buy the dress. Enjoy the process and the day to the fullest.

I hope the above tips have been helpful. Each dress brings back memories not only of the times I have worn it but also how I obtained it. When I wear the dress and accessories, I am feeling more than just the material against my skin (which is wonderful in itself) but also the memories and emotions associated with it. I can think of few other things that have that kind of affect on me. It’s a little like magic. Imagine that all in a dress. The discovery of that special dress is truly only the beginning.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Finding That Perfect Dress, Part I

With prom season right around the corner, many young ladies (both genetic and trans) are searching for that perfect dress. It can be a daunting and time consuming experience. One of the fun things over the past ten years has been searching for and finding some wonderful dresses. I have probably found dresses and gowns from every possible venue. Each has its advantages and disadvantages. I will go over each of the possible options in Part One. In Part Two, I will pass along some tips when shopping for dresses. All tips are good for both genetic and t-girls.

Shopping Options

1. Specialty or Boutique Shop

Some of the best bridal and formal dress shops can be found in the most unlikely of locations. Even the smallest towns have at least one boutique that caters to brides-to-be. While you may not be looking for that dress in white, most of these shops also have bridesmaid, debutante, and yes even prom dresses.

The advantage is a well trained staff that can help you with sizing and styles. You also cannot beat the ambiance of being in a place dedicated to you finding the right dress. It’s nice to have a personal assistant working with you every step of the way. Being surrounded by all those luxurious dresses is an experience beyond description. Many even have alterations onsite. Of course, you also have the best in quality of dresses. The disadvantages are costs and sometimes selection. Call ahead if you have a favorite designer in mind to see if the shop carries them. If your budget allows for it, the experience and the dress itself are worth the extra costs.

2. Discount Dress Shop

Shops like David’s Bridal have become popular for their costs and even better selection of dresses, accessories, and shoes. While the name may still suggest wedding day attire, most of these shops have plenty for the formal gal as well.

The advantage of a discount store is usually a greater variety of dresses since these shops rely on volume. Some even have online stores so you can look ahead. The prices are more affordable as well. The staff quality is not as consistent as the specialty store. One associate may have to work with several people at once. It may be best to visit during slow hours. Also the quality of the dresses themselves is a notch below the boutiques. However, if you still want the experience of shopping for a dress without breaking the bank, the discount store is the way to go.

3. Goodwill or Consignment Shop

In recent years, the donation stores have gotten a better reputation particularly in ritzy neighborhoods. They are no longer the rundown stores of old. The newer Goodwills are clean and well stocked. Some of my favorite dresses (including my first and most recent) have been bought at Goodwill.

The major advantage is costs. The most I have ever paid for a dress is $10. One in between area is selection. I have found some older styles that I adore. Of course, it is all hit and miss. It is best if you are open to looking for all segments of your wardrobe as you’re more likely to find something. The time to visit is the weekends as that is when most of the drop-offs occur. It is also the busiest time. The one disadvantage is that you’re completely on your own. You will also likely need alterations.

4. Seamstress/Dressmaker

A good seamstress can be a girl’s best friend. Even if you already have the dress, chances are it will need to be altered. Establishing a relation with an experienced lady can reduce the headaches considerably. She will make sure the dress fits *you* . When you wear the dress on that special night, you know it will look and feel good. Once you are confident in her alterations, you might even move on to having her make dresses from scratch. They will be completely unique, and the choices of material, color, and style are limited only by your imagination.

Another choice is an online seamstress (like the Very Merry Seamstress) that specializes in historical or other costume dresses. It is nice to find someone with that kind of experience to make a specialized dress. Communication is key here since there is no face to face contact. Make sure the sizes and instructions you send in are correct. Also follow their instructions to the letter as this will allow them to do the best job for you.

5. eBay and other online sites

eBay has become an internet institute with everything you would ever need. It is almost an economy unto itself. As such, it is far more difficult to find the good deals as most sellers are savvy enough to insure they get the highest bids. Still with a bit of perseverance, you can find some amazing dresses for less than retail. The standard rules apply for staying within budget (don’t overbid yourself and check shipping costs) and checking for sizes (read the entire listing for correct sizing). The selection increases before prom season and also before the Christmas holidays. However, you can find numerous auctions for just about anything year round. Accessories like jewelry, gloves, and shawls are also in abundant supply.

Almost any outfit you buy online will require alterations. Figure that into your costs. Also don’t forget the online stores particularly during clearance time. I bought my favorite peach dress which retailed for almost $300 for under $100. Also sites like Craig’s List offer some good options particularly on wedding dresses.

I have 16 formal dresses in my closet, and I have used all of the above routes for buying a dress. My favorite? Clearly the boutique shop. If money were no object, I’d go there every day! However, I have been pretty fortunate in my hunt for some nice outfits no matter how I go about it.

In Part Two of Finding That Perfect Dress, I will offer some general shopping tips.