Happenings Ten Years Time Ago

I chose the above psychedelic tune from the Yardbirds because it has indeed been a long strange but wonderful trip. Ten years ago yesterday (2/21), I ventured out for the first time en femme. I believe Stephanie was truly born that day. Believe me, I was one scared girl, but it set the stage for what has followed.

It was a Saturday afternoon at a Kappa Beta meeting when I walked in a room at the old Arena Inn on Independence Boulevard in Charlotte, NC. Inside, a few crossdressers had gathered. I had already contacted Sherri Lynn, the corresponding secretary for KB at the time. We had chatted on the phone several times in the preceding month and a half. I knew I was going to get a makeover from a GG friend of the group.

When I walked in that room, I had little idea what to expect. Everyone was nice, but I knew I was opening a door on a part of me that had not seen the light of day. I was full of questions. Sherri was great at answering all of them. She took me to Lucy’s studio where I was to get my makeover. About three from the group also joined us. As soon as I sat in the chair and she started to apply the makeup, I knew there was no turning back. When she was finished with my makeup and wig styling, I looked in the mirror and was amazed by the results. There I was… a girl. That was Stephanie looking back. I was the girl in the mirror. I was her.

However, it wasn’t until I stepped outside that it all truly hit me. It was warm for a February day with a nice light breeze. The sun hitting my face and the breeze against my skirt made it all feel very real. I knew this was right. This is who I was meant to be. I wasn’t a freak. I wasn’t even a man in a dress. I was simply me, and I was out never to return to the closet.

I am a little unusual in that I had never put the full physical picture together until that day. I had played mostly with clothes and some with makeup and wigs over the previous eight years. However, I had never worn the whole package (clothes, makeup, wig, shoes, forms, etc.) until then. I really had little idea how I would look. The whole effect was quite intoxicating. Six months later after finally getting somewhat competent doing my own makeup, I could look in the mirror and see a girl in the mirror. In fact, I would probably ask her out if I saw her on the street.

I have grown so much since that first outing. I feel like I learned so much the first two years and then had a lull for five years. The past three years have seen another growth spurt where I have a greater understanding of my feminine nature (much of which I have written about). I am thankful to be able to be the real me and to continue to explore and learn. With the help of supportive friends, I know it will continue. I look forward to what lies ahead while reminiscing about that first outing. I enjoy briefly taking myself back to that day and remembering how I felt. It gives me courage and strength for the future to know I took the big step into that motel room. I will continue to take those steps down the road which will lead me to a larger role on this stage we call life.