Operation Beautiful
I did want to say hello to everyone
checking in from Operation Beautiful and also thank you to Caitlin
for sharing my story. I had long felt the positive sticky notes had a
wonderful effect on so many beyond the intended audience. That is why
I felt so moved to take a leap of faith and write in. I never know
the response I'm going to get when I “out” myself. It is usually
pretty good as the world at large is becoming more aware of
transgender people. I have been fortunate to meet people like Caitlin
who see people and look at what they can be with just a little
encouragement.
Many of the past stories in this blog
are about reaching out and talking about my story. It is always a
scary move, but I learn and grow so much each time. I make new
friends and create connections that others may not have tried. I am
often pursuing the “path less taken” whether it be Civil War
reenacting, contra dancing, or the Ghost Walk. I love having friends
in the mainstream who know me as Stephanie above and beyond my gender
identity. I feel very lucky to live in a time and place where it's
possible. Not easy, mind you... but possible.
Let me give a little extra background
about the story of being asked for a dance and then dropped. This has
happened twice. The time I shared was relatively easy to bounce back
from. My friend Rima was right there to help me. I was in a
supportive group where most everyone knew me. It was an obvious case
of one bad apple. And of course, Diane's “beautiful” words so
made my night.
The second time was a bit more
disheartening as it occurred in Knoxville. It was the furthest I had
traveled away from my home dance in Charlotte. I was already in line
when the guy read me and left me standing on my own. I looked around,
but I didn't see anyone I knew. I slinked to the chair on the
sidelines and sat out the next three dances. No one asked me to
dance. I almost went straight home that night, but I'm glad I stayed.
I met some nice people, and Rima found some leftover Valentine candy
with one that said “You go, girl.” That made my weekend!
I am glad that I have never been outed
during a dance as that could be a potentially dangerous situation. It
is hurtful, and yet I think of the people who have made it all
worthwhile. I don't consider myself my activist in the traditional
sense. I am fairly introverted and certainly not “in your face.”
There are dance friends who I have never discussed my gender life
with. I respect those boundaries as I am at a dance, reenactment, or
another event to enjoy those activities, not to talk about me. Of
course, conversations do start up, and I'm always happy to discuss
those issues with those who are genuinely interested. I don't force
it... much!
So welcome again to my sporadic blog. I
hope to update every week with stories of history, dancing, gender
stuff, and other musings. I rarely get political although I will pass
along stories from other blogs. Feel free to write with questions.
The email address is in the profile link. Let me leave you with a
quote from George Eliot and often shared from my late friend, Pamela Jones: “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” I
think I may put that on a sticky note!
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