FAQ - Dec, 1998
I did this FAQ back in December, 1998, which was less then a year after going out en femme for the first time. I will try to do a rewrite of sorts in the near future, but this still should prove interesting.
Why do you crossdress?
I dress because it is a tremendous amount of fun! I have no other real explanation. I just know when I make myself into Stephanie (which is more than putting on a skirt and bra, btw!), I am completely happy. I love doing even normal things en femme such as shopping, dining out, cleaning the house, etc. Most of all, I enjoy being with the ladies of Kappa Beta and all the other beautiful girls I've met. As I mentioned in the opening, I am on a journey of sorts. I am not sure where this journey will take me as I suspect there may be more to my crossdressing than meets the eye. If that is the case, then I will deal with it as it comes along. Right now though, it is a fun *and* relaxing thing to do.
Where did you get your femme name?
Wil Rogers once said he never met a man he didn't like. Well, I have never met a Stephanie I didn't like. Really! I have known many Stephanie's in my life, and they are all wonderful, beautiful ladies. The name also indicates an attitude of fun and lightheartedness. That doesn't mean Stephanie can't be serious, but as I said above, I crossdress because its fun. I was just Stephanie from early 1996 to December, 1997. I asked a girl name Stephanie Lynn where she got her middle name. She said she just picked it from a list of runner-up names. I picked Marie because it is a very pretty name and combined with Stephanie, I believe it fits beautifully. My big sis, Beverly Barnes, says it makes me special. I tend to agree.
Where did you get fe-mail address?
I have received many compliments on my fe-male address, promqueen@ctc.net (*edited from old Hotmail address*). Many have asked where it came from. Before there was Stephanie, there were the dreams of being a prom queen. I remember how I envied the outfits the girls wore to the senior prom, and here I was stuck in a monkey suit! I really wanted to be dressed as the girl at a prom. Ever since, I have had a weakness for prom dresses, bridesmaid dresses, and wedding gowns. I bought several at yard sales before a major purge. I never got to wear any of them out. Finally, after joining Kappa Beta, I bought my most special of prom dresses: a royal blue blue puffy sleeve number that was 3/4 length and showed just a hint of cleavage. It only cost $7 at a Good Will store, but it is special because I wore it to the Kappa Beta Magnolia Ball. I was finally a prom queen! So now, the fe-mail name takes on new meaning. It is no longer a dream waiting to be lived. It is a symbol of dreams fulfilled and more yet to come.
Do you think you are transsexual?
Not at all! I enjoy being a man and all the things that are part of being masculine. However, I realize I have a repressed feminine side that comes out fully when I am Stephanie. Sure, it shows through on the male side, but I am not an overly effeminate person. I guess I'm a bit more sensitive than the average man, but that's about it. I do notice other women's clothes, hairstyles, and other traits more than before, but I obviously do not let on to others. All of the above means that I do not believe I was born in the wrong body, but that my brain and soul has other needs that must be fulfilled. Crossdressing is my way of meeting those needs.
How often do you go out en femme?
Since I came out in February, 1998, it works to about twice a month, but that could increase to about three or four times a month in the near future. I have not missed a Kappa Beta meeting except one since February, and I usually end up doing something else with a chat friend as well. However, as I meet more tg girls, I expect that number to increase. Also, I went shopping solo en femme for the first time in October, 1998, and I want to do more of that. The upshot is, like many crossdressers, I live my life the vast majority of the time as a male.
Why do you call the your web site "Stephanie Marie's Dance Floor?"
It's a bit of a play on the prom queen name, but the truth is I feel like dancing whenever I'm en femme! Dancing is a very creative and personal art form, and this is my chance in life to be really creative. So what you see here is the result of all that dancing (en femme, of course).
You mentioned your religious beliefs in your bio. Don't you think this is sinful and perverted?
If you had asked me this back in 1997, then I would have said yes. I was familiar with the Deuteronomy passage and thought that I was going to hell in a hand basket. However, I knew in my heart of hearts that this was not going to go away no matter how many times I threw away my wardrobe. I finally came to peace sometime in the fall of 1997 with this. It was ok for me to pursue this further. I learned that the Old Testament passage does not apply to us today as it is the Old Law. There are others who have written more eloquently on this subject. Needless to say, it made a lot of sense to me. I have also made a contract with myself: if my crossdressing ever interferes with my family, job, or finances to the point of causing damage, I will quit it in a heartbeat! So far, this has not happened. In fact, since I started gong out, my family life and career have grown immeasurably. I believe this is in no small part due to me being happier then ever before in my life. I can't always tell people why I am so happy, but I know they see it.
As far as being perverted, that is for society to determine. The only thing I can offer is how does this affect others - i.e. am I hurting anyone by doing this? I believe not. Child molesters and rapists are the real perverts. They are the ones doing true harm to society. To throw crossdressers in with that group both hurts the transgendered community and somehow lessens the impact of the real criminals mentioned above. Also, society confuses being different with being perverted. When we vary from the norm society has placed on us (i.e. the gender roles), then society naturally sees us as perverted. It is almost a knee-jerk reaction. Very few think very deeply about it. Those that choose to think about it in a non-biased manner usually discover that we are quite normal. Crossdressers just present themselves in a different, and yes, unusual way from time to time. It is different, a little strange, maybe even a bit eccentric, but certainly not perverted.
Why do you crossdress?
I dress because it is a tremendous amount of fun! I have no other real explanation. I just know when I make myself into Stephanie (which is more than putting on a skirt and bra, btw!), I am completely happy. I love doing even normal things en femme such as shopping, dining out, cleaning the house, etc. Most of all, I enjoy being with the ladies of Kappa Beta and all the other beautiful girls I've met. As I mentioned in the opening, I am on a journey of sorts. I am not sure where this journey will take me as I suspect there may be more to my crossdressing than meets the eye. If that is the case, then I will deal with it as it comes along. Right now though, it is a fun *and* relaxing thing to do.
Where did you get your femme name?
Wil Rogers once said he never met a man he didn't like. Well, I have never met a Stephanie I didn't like. Really! I have known many Stephanie's in my life, and they are all wonderful, beautiful ladies. The name also indicates an attitude of fun and lightheartedness. That doesn't mean Stephanie can't be serious, but as I said above, I crossdress because its fun. I was just Stephanie from early 1996 to December, 1997. I asked a girl name Stephanie Lynn where she got her middle name. She said she just picked it from a list of runner-up names. I picked Marie because it is a very pretty name and combined with Stephanie, I believe it fits beautifully. My big sis, Beverly Barnes, says it makes me special. I tend to agree.
Where did you get fe-mail address?
I have received many compliments on my fe-male address, promqueen@ctc.net (*edited from old Hotmail address*). Many have asked where it came from. Before there was Stephanie, there were the dreams of being a prom queen. I remember how I envied the outfits the girls wore to the senior prom, and here I was stuck in a monkey suit! I really wanted to be dressed as the girl at a prom. Ever since, I have had a weakness for prom dresses, bridesmaid dresses, and wedding gowns. I bought several at yard sales before a major purge. I never got to wear any of them out. Finally, after joining Kappa Beta, I bought my most special of prom dresses: a royal blue blue puffy sleeve number that was 3/4 length and showed just a hint of cleavage. It only cost $7 at a Good Will store, but it is special because I wore it to the Kappa Beta Magnolia Ball. I was finally a prom queen! So now, the fe-mail name takes on new meaning. It is no longer a dream waiting to be lived. It is a symbol of dreams fulfilled and more yet to come.
Do you think you are transsexual?
Not at all! I enjoy being a man and all the things that are part of being masculine. However, I realize I have a repressed feminine side that comes out fully when I am Stephanie. Sure, it shows through on the male side, but I am not an overly effeminate person. I guess I'm a bit more sensitive than the average man, but that's about it. I do notice other women's clothes, hairstyles, and other traits more than before, but I obviously do not let on to others. All of the above means that I do not believe I was born in the wrong body, but that my brain and soul has other needs that must be fulfilled. Crossdressing is my way of meeting those needs.
How often do you go out en femme?
Since I came out in February, 1998, it works to about twice a month, but that could increase to about three or four times a month in the near future. I have not missed a Kappa Beta meeting except one since February, and I usually end up doing something else with a chat friend as well. However, as I meet more tg girls, I expect that number to increase. Also, I went shopping solo en femme for the first time in October, 1998, and I want to do more of that. The upshot is, like many crossdressers, I live my life the vast majority of the time as a male.
Why do you call the your web site "Stephanie Marie's Dance Floor?"
It's a bit of a play on the prom queen name, but the truth is I feel like dancing whenever I'm en femme! Dancing is a very creative and personal art form, and this is my chance in life to be really creative. So what you see here is the result of all that dancing (en femme, of course).
You mentioned your religious beliefs in your bio. Don't you think this is sinful and perverted?
If you had asked me this back in 1997, then I would have said yes. I was familiar with the Deuteronomy passage and thought that I was going to hell in a hand basket. However, I knew in my heart of hearts that this was not going to go away no matter how many times I threw away my wardrobe. I finally came to peace sometime in the fall of 1997 with this. It was ok for me to pursue this further. I learned that the Old Testament passage does not apply to us today as it is the Old Law. There are others who have written more eloquently on this subject. Needless to say, it made a lot of sense to me. I have also made a contract with myself: if my crossdressing ever interferes with my family, job, or finances to the point of causing damage, I will quit it in a heartbeat! So far, this has not happened. In fact, since I started gong out, my family life and career have grown immeasurably. I believe this is in no small part due to me being happier then ever before in my life. I can't always tell people why I am so happy, but I know they see it.
As far as being perverted, that is for society to determine. The only thing I can offer is how does this affect others - i.e. am I hurting anyone by doing this? I believe not. Child molesters and rapists are the real perverts. They are the ones doing true harm to society. To throw crossdressers in with that group both hurts the transgendered community and somehow lessens the impact of the real criminals mentioned above. Also, society confuses being different with being perverted. When we vary from the norm society has placed on us (i.e. the gender roles), then society naturally sees us as perverted. It is almost a knee-jerk reaction. Very few think very deeply about it. Those that choose to think about it in a non-biased manner usually discover that we are quite normal. Crossdressers just present themselves in a different, and yes, unusual way from time to time. It is different, a little strange, maybe even a bit eccentric, but certainly not perverted.
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