Stephanie Marie

I hope everyone has been enjoying the cool fall weather and the colorful leaves. This is one of the times I really enjoy apartment living watching everyone rake up their leaves. I love the explosion of color, but I detest cleaning up the fallen leaves. I must admit most everyone in my town has done a beautimous job in keeping their yards clean. A good friend recently asked me about my reencting schedule and other appearances. My goal for 2009 is to have a full slate of Pride shows and other activities on the slate. I enjoyed so much the Pride Charlotte and Southern Comfort presentations that I'd like to expand as much as time allows. A lot of this will be dependent on my work schedule and my application to a local reenacting group. Once I start confirming events, I will put up a schedule someplace on this blog My ideal situation is a combination of mainstream and GLBT events. I feel a desire to work in both arenas. The mainstream events give me an opportunity to grow in that world...

A big thank you to everyone who attended my seminar, TG Adventures in History, at the Southern Comfort Convention this year! That was my first presentation at SCC, and I was pleased with the good turnout (about a dozen) for a 9am start. I know history may not be the most exciting subject at that hour, but it was a true pleasure to be surrounded by people who enjoy studying all aspects of our past. The best thing was all the ideas for reading material and transgender related topics. It meant so much for the attendees to share their experiences with me. I was particularly moved by the lady who says that this is my "reality" versus being a "dream." Those who read my blog know that is a big deal for me. That is a big part of the magic of SCC... hearing everyone's stories. From the bottom of my heart, thank you! Once again, I volunteered with the tech crew at SCC. Due to my work schedule, I missed all of the fun setup work ;) I heard it went fairly well with the grea...

Something that the religious world is quite familiar with is the idea that one must be a committed to a certain philosophy in order to be right with God. These are sometimes called "chosen sects." Anyone who has not understood or applied a particular principle is not consider "saved" according to these sects' belief system. Even if this person has been devout and committed all their life, none of this matters to the "chosen one" if he/she has not accepted a way of thinking partiular to the group. One example I will give was my time with the International Church of Christ (sometimes called the Boston Movement in the 80's) in my college years at UNC-Chapel Hill. Like many so called fundamentalist groups, they believed they had the key to salvation due to a literal interpretation of the Bible. In Bible studies with potential recruits, church members were trained to dismiss any past Christian experience of the recruit. If one area of non conformance wi...

In the old days of Kappa Beta , summer was a very quiet time. Since many crossdressers did not want to shave their legs and arms for fear of being outed, they simply went into hiding until they could start wearing outfits that covered more. Some had summer family obligations and did not want to embarass others by showing unshaved skin. I always feel for many of my married sisters who have to compromise in this way. As Dr. Phil says, negotiate everything. We even had a prom of sorts in May called the Magnolia Ball. It was like a going way party. See you in September. You know I loved it being the prom queen. It went away after 2001 as it became too cumbersome to organize. If you're interested, here are the dresses I wore each year: 1998 1999 2000 & 2001 Part of me misses those days. However, if this blog is any indication, I hope it's obvious I am not going back. I still like the pink dress though! This summer has been quite productive particularly with 2008 Pride Charlot...

Just a reminder that Pride Charlotte is this Saturday, July 26, 11 am to 6pm at the Gateway Village on the west side of uptown Charlotte. For those not familiar with Charlotte, Gateway Village runs between Trade Street and 5th Street between N. Cedar Street and N. Irwin Avenue. Pride Charlotte is a day when the GLBT community can be out and proud. This year's theme is "Live, Love, Be." It's that last word that means so much although the first two are pretty special too. I am scheduled with my Transgender Adventures in History presentation on the Community Stage at 1:20pm following Elke Kennedy of Sean's Last Wish . I couln't be more honored to be following this courageous lady. She is such an inspiration. The Community Stage is one of two stages at Pride Charlotte. It will be on Trade Street. I look forward to being in my southern belle best and then quick changing to something cooler! As my friend Nancy Wichmann reminds me though, women in those days could no...

My "award winning" presentation, TG Adventures in History, has been scheduled for the Community Stage at 1:20pm at Pride Charlotte 2008, July 26. It will be similar to the presentation I did for the Kappa Beta Christmas party except I will wear only one costume. For those who missed it, TG Adventures in History is a combination of my living history stories and experiences, TG historical notes (primarily ancient history and 19th cenury), and 19th century women's fashion. I will be dressed (hopefully!) in my famous green Civil War gown including the hoop skirt. I am still waiting to hear back from Jeff on a changing room. Otherwise, I might just wear a simple prom dress ;) I invite everyone to attend! I will also be representing CGA at their booth that day which is a huge honor. More information about 2008 Pride Charlotte can be found at http://www.pridecharlotte.com/ Also, I was recently approved for a seminar at this year's SCC. It is scheduled for Sat, October 4 at...

Stephen Moller was sentenced to three years prison time at a courthouse in Greenville, SC for the punching death of Sean Kennedy. Moller pleaded guilty to involuntary manslaughter. He could have received anywhere from time served up to five years. The three year sentence falls somewhere in the middle, but he will likely only serve another year in jail. My heart goes out to Elke Kennedy, Sean’s mother. The pain she has had to endure is beyond description. She received very little comfort or relief at the hearing yesterday. Moller’s attorney, Ryan Beasley, put forward several shaky arguments as to why his client should be released on time served (about seven months). He tried to downplay the incident as merely a disagreement and fight between two drunken party goers. Beasley even went so far as to suggest that Sean’s fatal injury came about from someone helping him after the punch and dropping his body. I understand our justice system gives every defendant the right to a vigorous defense...

I'm sure many of you were wondering if I was ever going to put on that debutante dress again. After all it has been a year since I wrote about it , and she has shown all these other beautiful dresses. In fact, it was the first post in this award winning blog. Well never fear, my dear debs. Not only do I have a pic. I also have a video! You'll probably also noticed that the debutante dress makes an appearance in the title page. It signals the start of a slightly different path for my life. I will always be the "Prom Queen", but I am now more the "TG Southern Belle." It is hopefully a maturation on my part. A Southern belle signifies a woman while still quite young but now a bit wiser. She is much more worldly yet still knows how to be feminine, and she still gets to wear beautiful dresses too. Enjoy the video. Remember, since this is my debut, there is much more to come!

One of the great controversies in the TG community is our association with the gay community. Many fear such a connection will only reinforce the belief in the mainstream that all crossdressers and transgender people are really gay. There is also the disillusionment over the ENDA debacle. The reality even there is that it brought our two communities closer as we realized how much our struggles are similar. Only those at the top of the HRC leadership do not see that. However that is a story that has been debated and analyzed in much better ways by better writers. However the fight does still continue. Then there are those stories where the labels can be thrown away. They are simply about the human condition. It is a truly tragic story. Out of the despair and grief of losing a son, hope and even triumph reigns. Such is the story of Sean Kennedy, a 20 year old man that was taken from us far too soon. Yes, he is gay. That’s only part of the story. Sean Kennedy was murdered just over a year...

And it has now been published! Entitled TG Short Stories with Carollyn Olsen and Friends , this paperback features three short stories. The first, You've Got Male , was penned by my good friend from the Vanity Club , Carollyn Olsen. The second, Loving Change , was written by yours truly. The final story is Third Kiss from Lady Silke Loretta Martin. Loving Change features a crossdresser and her supportive live in girlfriend on the evening of their six month anniversary. A night of love making leaves a permanent change on our protagonist, or does it? A short excerpt: Every touch from her brought such a tingly wave of joy upon me that I barely noticed her leading me to our bedroom suite. We both kicked off our heels as I followed her siren call. “Close your eyes,” she said. “This will take a minute, but keep them closed until I say so.” I closed my eyes. Amanda was a sensual, tender lover and I relished these moments of surprise. I felt her unzipping my dress letting it fall to the ...

My good friend Robbi Cohn has been passing this link around about a Fox News story on transgender children. Dr. Norman Spack, a pediatric specialist at Boston's Children Hospital, is amongst a growing number of doctors that recognize TG tendencies in children. He also assists in therapy for children as young as age seven and recommends medicine that will delay the onset of puberty while these children are given the opportunity to determine their true gender. Of course this being a Fox News story, several conservative doctors are used for a rebuttal essentially questioning Dr. Spack's morals and judgment. One even goes as far as calling him and the children's families child abusers. Another word used is "barbaric." Dr. Spack is truly a courageous individual for pursuing true science in the face of increasing opposition from his learned colleagues and the public at large. While I agree treating TG children must be approached with all due caution, it must be noted t...

One of the fun things I get to do from time to time is speak at universities across the area. I love going back to campus as a college girl of sorts because I get to live somewhat vicariously through the students. Of course, the engery, enthusiasm, and influx of ideas are all infectious. At times I wonder what life would have been like if I had come out in my college years and lived en femme. This is somewhat self defeating though as I do believe in a greater purpose for my life, and I am on the path I need to be. Wednesday afternoon, my good friend Pam put out an email call for a speaker for the Day of Silence event at Winthrop University in Rock Hill, SC. The other scheduled speaker had become sick the previous evening and could not make it. I got the email at 5:15pm and immediately phoned Pam that I'd love to join in. After getting my directions straight and jumping in my phone booth, I made it to the campus at 7:30pm in time for the 8pm event. I met a wonderful group of studen...

When anyone asks about my favorite color, I will now point to this lovely shade of fuschia that I had my nails on my hands and toes done in at Happy Nails in Charlotte. I am blessed with fairly small hands and feet for a ::cough, cough:: male body. I just love the extra feminine touch that this color adds. I have added a new video as well to my YouTube collection which will now have a link to the right. In addition to my videos, I have a favorites list with all the best videos of prom, formal, and historical gowns. Of course the poofier and longer the gown, the better I like it!

A very bad first video, but it gives you a nice look at my favorite Civil War dress with a little sparkle thrown in for good measure. Stories with this dress: Latta Plantation Ghost Walk My Dream Dress

Today we will look at some general tips for shopping for formal dresses. Most of these are common sense, but many still overlook them. Again, everything here applies to both genetic and t-girls. 1. Start Early I would suggest starting at least two months ahead of time before a planned formal. Add another month if it’s during prom season. This gives you time to find the dress, have it altered, accessorize, and have a picture session ahead of time. Most of the nice shops have extra staff during the busy prom and debutante season and can work you into their alteration schedule. Make sure you have the same shoes and underwear you are planning on wearing when you go to have your dress altered. Don’t skip or delay these appointments if you are shooting for a certain date. At Poffie Girls in Gastonia, NC, they worked with over 400 girls during prom season alone! Now if you’re not on a schedule, you can do the above at a more leisurely pace. Just understand that if you don’t give a specific da...

With prom season right around the corner, many young ladies (both genetic and trans) are searching for that perfect dress. It can be a daunting and time consuming experience. One of the fun things over the past ten years has been searching for and finding some wonderful dresses. I have probably found dresses and gowns from every possible venue. Each has its advantages and disadvantages. I will go over each of the possible options in Part One. In Part Two, I will pass along some tips when shopping for dresses. All tips are good for both genetic and t-girls. Shopping Options 1. Specialty or Boutique Shop Some of the best bridal and formal dress shops can be found in the most unlikely of locations. Even the smallest towns have at least one boutique that caters to brides-to-be. While you may not be looking for that dress in white, most of these shops also have bridesmaid, debutante, and yes even prom dresses. The advantage is a well trained staff that can help you with sizing and styles. Y...

I chose the above psychedelic tune from the Yardbirds because it has indeed been a long strange but wonderful trip. Ten years ago yesterday (2/21), I ventured out for the first time en femme. I believe Stephanie was truly born that day. Believe me, I was one scared girl, but it set the stage for what has followed. It was a Saturday afternoon at a Kappa Beta meeting when I walked in a room at the old Arena Inn on Independence Boulevard in Charlotte, NC. Inside, a few crossdressers had gathered. I had already contacted Sherri Lynn, the corresponding secretary for KB at the time. We had chatted on the phone several times in the preceding month and a half. I knew I was going to get a makeover from a GG friend of the group. When I walked in that room, I had little idea what to expect. Everyone was nice, but I knew I was opening a door on a part of me that had not seen the light of day. I was full of questions. Sherri was great at answering all of them. She took me to Lucy’s studio where I w...

I have written about my presentations at UNCC . Those are admittedly done before a somewhat willing and impressionable audience. It is a form of outreach that is both rewarding and honorable. What do you do though when there is no classroom? When you need to educate already intelligent and successful adults? How do you get the word out about a truly pressing issue? This past Saturday, I assisted in handing out leaflets outside the HRC Gala at the Charlotte Convention Center. Called an educational initiative and organized by Angela Brightfeather from Raleigh, NC, and Monica Helms from Atlanta, Ga, it was designed to enlighten members of the GLBT community about employment issues and the ENDA bill. It seemed appropriate that this came on my tenth anniversary at Kappa Beta. I along with several of my KB sisters stepped out in a larger way. I couldn't have been more proud of Pam , Tammy, and Trish for their efforts. Also thanks goes to a young gentleman named Scott who attended the gal...

Has it been since last summer since I updated this series? And so many dresses to go too! The prom queen is losing her touch. However this time of year, many of the young ladies are thinking ahead to that special spring dance. My special dances are usually at Southern Comfort and the Kappa Beta Christmas party. So I have a ways to go before thinking about my next dress. Sometimes I don't need a special occasion to buy a dress. If I see something I like, I get it! Such is the fun of being a girl :) I bought this dress in December of 1998 along with my crimson Christmas dress at a consignment shop in Fayetteville, NC. It is similar in style to my first dress, the royal blue number . However the color stands out much more... either a hot pink or almost a fuschia depending on the lighting. The style is admittedly a little outdated with the puffy sleeves and irregular skirt hem (long in back, short in front). I think it was more poplular inthe late 80's and early 90's. It has pl...

When I'm not wearing my finest in long satin gowns, I do take on a few other hobbies. I have always liked video games going back to the days of Pong in the 70's. My very first gaming system was an Atari 2600. Like most geeks during the 80's, I also had a Commodore 64 which was a fantastic gaming system. I played Dr. J. and Larry Bird Go One on One until the wee hours. However it wasn't until the 90's that PC gaming started to come of age somewhat. While I still like the consoles, I have most of my fun on the computer. My current specs are hardly breathtaking, but most of my favorite PC games do not require a system that can launch a rocket into space. The funny thing is that many do allow me to be a female character. So here is my list of favorite PC games that require a bit of feminine touch to be successful. Civilization II (1996, MicroProse) - The Civilization series is now up to number four (with Leonard Nimoy as a voice talent), but the second in the series ...

A good article by Ms Courtney: The Crossdresser: Is He Powerless to Stop? My reply: Ms. Courtney, thank you for the excellent and thought provoking article. Many crossdressers purge because of the intense guilt society inflicts on those who are different. I experienced this many years ago in a church group. I finally came to peace when I understood that the feminine side of me was actually beneficial, not hurtful. Any pressure to not dress came from outside, not within. Society is slowly changing thankfully. Part of that is because crossdressers and transsexuals are much more out in the open, and the world can see they are happy and fulfilled by being their true selves. Once we understand this, people will stop trying to “cure” us because we have already found the remedy by embracing the woman within.

Here are a couple of article making the rounds in the message boards: Susan Stanton's Lonely Transformation Susan Stanton had her life turned upsidedown almost a year ago when she was outed as a transsexual by a local newspaper reporter. The same paper, The St. Petersburg Times, has followed her story since. She is clearly struggling to find her place in her new world. Job issues are something most in transition struggle with. However, Susan Stanton has become somewhat of a pariah in the community by distancing herself from the same community. I am disapponted by her attitude regarding ENDA, but I can understand her need to blaze her own trail. However I would ask that she not speak for the community. She is only speaking for herself. Crossing Over Zoe Brain blog response If this piece were written in anything but the Wall Street Journal, I'd give it little creedence. It is an example of a writer trying to be too cute or clever in an end of the year piece. She can barely get pa...