Stephanie Marie

First, a short disclaimer: I do have a piece of code through StatCounter that gives me a couple pieces of information about visitors to my blog. First, it tells me where your IP is located (except some that are blocked). Second, it tells me which website you came from to arrive here and which pages you click on while perusing this blog. It does *not* tell me your street address, phone number, credit card numbers, what you're wearing, what you're eating, or what you think of my blog. Whew... don't you feel better? I do this to get a general idea of how people are finding this blog and where they're from. I find this information both fascinating and useful as I find ways to reach more of the tg commuity and world at large. One thing that also comes through on the click through links is the searches that are used to find this blog. Some are not surprising. "Crossdresser" and "tg/transgender" appear quite often. Many looking for the famous TG prom quee...

... and I think two wigs! Saturday night at the Kappa Beta Christmas party was another fun night. For only the second time in my almost ten year association with the group, I provided what might pass as entertainment. I decided to offer my services as a budding historian in between all the music acts. I also had three dresses in mind I wanted to wear. So I split my monologues into three segments each in a different costume. The two costumes on the left are both custom made Civil War era gowns. They were done for me by Heather, the Very Merry Seamstress . You have seen the green dress , but the brown dress (inspired by Captain Janeway on the Star Trek Voyager episode, " The Q and the Grey ") was making its debut outing even though I have had it a couple years. The dress in the upper right is a replica of a skating dress from the 1890's. Of course, the dress I wore to the party in the lower right is circa 21st century. Thanks also goes to Swooz Glenn for styling my wigs. Sh...

Weekends just don't get much better than this. I spent Friday and Saturday night with a group of wonderful friends. Here is the picture from Friday night at a party graciously hosted by Rhonda. I dug up an old Christmas dress that still fits pretty well. The company was even better than the dress as I consider the group in the picture below some l-r, Trish Valentine, Diane, Pamela Jones, Stephanie Marie, Rhonda Whittington, Rose, Steffanie Carter; sitting, Donna Marie Hess

Admittedly I can't wear my long beautiful formal dresses or my big Civil War gowns all the time. I am up to 16 formal dresses with a recent purchase for the Kappa Beta Christmas party at Goodwill. So look out Yvonne ! I'm catching up ;) Unfortunately her number of dresses hovers around triple digits. I have thought about planning a special ops mission to raid her closet. Volunteers are always being accepted. ;) Not that I'm jealous or anything. Someone might confuse me with Scrooge or the Grinch. But I digress... The above picture is much more typical of my everyday dress. Notice it is still nicer than what the average American woman wears to go shopping, and that is part of my dilemma. A big reason that I dress up is that I am not fulltime as a woman. If I were fulltime, I'm sure that I would have my share of jeans and t-shirts in my closet. Going out is still an experience for me. It is something I have to plan most of my day around. Let me say that I do not like to ...

I finally have a little time to breathe with the Thanksgiving holiday. I hope everyone has a safe and happy Thanksgiving while keeping the waistline at a reasonable number! All is well on my end... just a lot of work lately. Many like to write columns and blog posts about what they're thankful for. Here is my list: 1) Friends who know the real me especially all the wonderful ladies at Kappa Beta. Special thanks goes to Pamela and Trish for their continual support. 2) My family who don't yet know all of the real me but love me nonetheless. 3) All those beautiful prom, bridesmaid, wedding, Civil War dresses... makes this girl feel soooo feminine. 4) The Internet where I started to discover the real me. 5) My four cats... purrrrrrr. 6) The right time and place that allows me to have the opportunity to explore my true self... hmmmmm, that sounds like a good blog post. 7) Ms. Carmen , my hypnosis therapist. 8) Friends who don't know all of the real me but like me for who I am. 9...

I'll leave the finish to the above to the George Lucas moviemaking machine to avoid potential copyright pitfalls. However, it is quite appropriate to look back from time to time. In my sessions with Ms. Carmen , she makes sure I remember key past events and even helps put me back in that time. Looking back accomplishes several things. It shows me how far I've come as Stephanie and how much I've changed. She also makes sure I recognize key moments of change such as the 2007 SCC where I worked as a video producer en femme for the first time. At the end of our last chat, Ms. Carmen brought up a memory I shared early in my blog history about a time before I had even chosen a femme name. It was when I was discovered by a college roommate when I was part of a fundamentalist church. That night, several men from the church "intervened" with me about my "sin." I threw away the two dresses I had at the time. It was a time of despair for me. I thought I was evil a...

I do apologize for the delay in writing about the ghostwalk at Latta Plantation. While I have been busy with a new job, I have also had difficulties coming to terms with finding a greater meaning in my volunteer job. Finally last night (11/3) at our regular Charlotte Gender Alliance meeting, I had the opportunity to talk about my experience with some of my trans sisters. It is always nice to have good friends as a sounding board of sorts to put things in perspective. They all helped me realize that this was indeed a remarkable thing. I may have forgotten that at some point, but that is part of the learning experience. I arrived at Latta Plantation about 5pm that Saturday, two hours before the start of the event. I was en femme wearing blue jeans, a light blue sweater, and my favorite black pumps. In speaking with Karen the prior week, I knew I would have my own changing area. That had been my biggest concern. Walking into the visitor’s center, I was greeted by Nicole, the same young la...

Since I've been writing so much about my new adventure, I thought it only fair to give you a live update of sorts. My feet are about to fall off as we had a huge crowd at the Latta Plantation Ghostwalk. Everything went pretty well. I got lots of compliments on my dress along with a lot of questions. I'll write in more detail about those later. Karen had some nice things to say at the end to me, and I thanked her very much for the opportunity. More to come at a later time. Time for beauty sleep here. I'll rest well having lived and done something that has been a long time in coming.

One of my frustrations in fashion for men and women is how we get stuck on certain trends. It is interesting to note in some of those old faded pictures from the 60's and 70's how everyone looks like they are dressed alike. Some of the styles would actually look fine for today. In fact, you can barely tell the era of the photo if not for the fading. Some styles look very dated and never return except for costume parties. I always wonder when fashion designers decide to put a certain style to death (pussy bow blouses for example). There is a very telling scene early in the movie The Devil Wears Prada where Anne Hathaway's character Andera chuckled at the angst over the choice of a belt for a particular outfit. Merryl Streep's character Miranda then proceeds to figuratively undress Andrea by telling her the blue color of her now unstylish sweater was in reality chosen several years earlier as one of the "in" colors which then trickled its way into the less chic ...

Here is the dress I'll be wearing the night of October 27th at Latta Plantation . I like to dress well when traveling in my time machine!

Just as the title says, I have a new email now! It is promqueen@ctc.net I felt fortunate to keep the promqueen name! I thought I'd wear white for the new marriage.

I usually try to limit the discussion of politics on this blog. As the name of the blog suggests, I enjoy my prom dresses very much. I also am very thankful for the many friends I have in the community and the opportunities to get out. My belief is that the positive experiences we have in the mainstream world is what will change the hearts and minds of that world. However there are times when legislation written on a piece of paper is necessary to help pave that path. Such is the case with ENDA. Many in the transgender community subscribe to any number of message boards and are aware of the events of the last eight days. In short, the ENDA legislation would add sexual orientation and gender identity to the list of federally protected classes. A person could not be denied employment or dismissed from a job based on the above. Such legislation was started way back in 1994 and was finally set to come to a vote in the Houuse of Representatives this month. The liklihood is any ENDA bill pas...

I wanted to share my latest news about my latest upcoming adventure. Most of you know I have a love for prom and formal dresses. This goes back to my earliest memories of knowing that I liked women's clothing. I found I also liked the Civil War era dresses with the big hoop skirts. Of course, its a whole lot easier to find the prom dresses than those big Civil War gowns. Still I have had two custom made for me in recent years. I was left with one problem... where to wear them? I enjoyed the history side of it as well (I am quite the History Channel geek) and decided to start checking out local historical sites. In late August, I visited en femme a historical site in Charlotte called Latta Plantation. I asked about times I could return in period costume. Their Halloween and Christmas events were recommended to me. I emailed the volunteer coordinator about working at the Halloween event (the Ghost Walk). I was upfront about my desire to be a female character since I am transgendered....

Some of this is very heavy material, but it is worth reading. The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) recently posted its Corporate Equality Index (CEI) for 2008. Unfortunately, activists in the TG community have pointed out (and rightfully so) that it falls far short in covering the "T" in GLBT. My short response is that we still have a long way to go in terms of educating the business and corporate world about us. I have put together a short lists of articles explaining and commentating on this in more detail. Corporate Support for the Trans by Donna Rose The Blue and Yellow Stepchild by Marty Abernathy HRC Corporate Equality Index: Rating Criteria

Whew!! It's over, and I feel like I'm in a period of detox. I'll have more substantial material about SCC 2007 at some point, but suffice to say it is truly a climb to the mountaintop where I can breathe the rarified air of the essence of the transgender community. Unfortunately you do have to come down at some point, but at least I can bottle some of that air to carry me through the real world. Being around an estimated one thousand of your sisters and brothers and especially working with some of the best in the community is truly an experience beyond words. Here is part of what I wrote in the Kappa Beta Yahoo Group: It was also my pleasure to work along side Kari and Marilyn as volunteers at SCC even though we were in different departments. My body and mind are still recovering from what is always a life changing week. This week was a big longer as I arrived on Tuesday, worked Wednesday in drab setting up the ballroom, and then spent the next three days en femme as part a...

The video of the attacks on the World Trade Center towers in New York City six years ago tomorrow still creates a hollow place in my stomach. The memories of feelings of dread and helplessness from that week seem so real. One of my high school classmates was on one of those planes. I think of the lost dreams and lives from the thousands who are no longer with us, and it gives me the realization that I must live life while it is still with me. I will try to keep this as unpolitical as possible as the discussions over the American lead wars since that day are totally legitiate and reasonable. The one thought that crowds my mind is that a group people on the other side of the globe felt like they had the right to impose their way of life on us. They were so strong in their beliefs that they felt (and still feel) fully justified in killing indiscriminately. How does this affect the transgender community? Clearly we are a group that many religious extremists around the world are uncomfortab...

We've been having a wonderful time at the Community Kink chat room on Wednesday nights at 9pm ET for Fabulous Femme chat. Ms. Carmen is on the radio live, and Ms. Cecilia hosts the chat. Ms. Cecilia always tapes a report for the show, and her last one was on the topic of the differences between men and women and how it affects transgender folks. It's a free download and well worth the listen. Ms. Cecilia - The Differences Between Men and Women

Another day, another outing, another new thing for Stephanie. Those who read this blog regularly know Ihave a fledgling interest in Civil War history and of course the big beautiful women's gowns from that era. To recap, I have two custom made Civil War style dresses including one that is based on an encyclopedia picture from my childhood that I recently rediscovered. I even identified myself as a crossdresser to the online seamstress that made this second dress for me, and she was incredibly friendly throughout. The whole story is at My Dream Dress posted in July. Yesterday, I made a visit to Latta Plantation north of Charlotte, NC. Latta was at it height during the early 19th century and has events based on both the Revolutionary War and Civil War. This was my first such trip en femme, and I dressed fairly casually. I wanted to inquire about which events would be appropriate to dress in period costume. After paying my $6 for the tour, I spoke with one of the ladies dressed in a 2...

It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind. We've heard that statement a million times. As a man, I never really understood it. Men are trained as leaders to make a decision and stick with it no matter the consequences. Never mind the iceberg just up ahead. Stay the course. Don't be indecisive or waffling. Even if that choice leads you and everyone else over a cliff, it doesn't matter. You made the decision, and that makes you a real man. I had a situation yesterday that made me understand for the briefest of moments that it is ok to change your mind. I went in with one assumption about what was right and came out with something very different. And wouldn't you guess it? It involved buying a formal dress. Now tell me how many of you are really surprised? Let me preface this by saying Saturday was one of the most full scheduled femme days ever. I started the day by spending a couple of hours at Pride Day in Charlotte with my good friend Pamela Jones . We set u...

Most people put at least one iPod or iTunes list on their blog. As a guy, I would never consider making this list. The reason is that I couldn't explain why I cry at certain things. However Ms. Carmen told me that one of the great things about being a woman is a release for overwhelming emotions. It has to come out somehow, someway. Even Mr. Darling on Andy Griffith never gave an explanation. He just said, "That one makes me cry," and Andy would pick (literally) another tune. So here are songs that make me cry. 1. Forever Autumn - Justin Hayward 2. Watching and Waiting - The Moody Blues 3. Will the Circle be Unbroken 4. There is a Time 5. What's the Name of the Game - ABBA 6. It's Too Late - Carole King 7. Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) - Green Day 8. Rainy Days and Mondays - The Carpenters 9. Come Monday - Jimmy Buffett 10. Fly Away - John Denver 11. Who Are You Now - Blue Jays 12. Beth - KISS

A little dress collage from over the years. I have featured five of the dresses in stories so far. From L-R... 1) Royal blue dress 2) Fuschia dress 3) Wine dress 4) Teal dress 5) Peach dress 5) Debutante dress

I am not disappointed I watched the Larry King Show on CNN Friday night. I was immensely proud of all the guests as they represented themselves and the community quite well. However, I was somewhat disturbed by Mr. King's line of questioning. Larry King is a multiple award winner and has been long been regarded as an important figure in broadcasting. He is someone I admired as I startd my broadcast career a year before he finished his long running syndicated radio show. I must say I have rarely watched his CNN show except when issues of major importance to me were featured. In other words... not very much. I understand Larry King Live still has good ratings for a cable show. However, in looking back at some of his guest lists, he does rely on somewhat sensationalized topcs. Maybe that is how be approached Friday night's show. Mr. King is notorious for his minimal pre-show preparation. I have learned he didn't even talk to any of the guests prior to the show. I understand he...

Set your DVRs/TIVOs tonight for 9pm ET on CNN for Larry King Live. The tease is: Men who have surgery to become women, women who become men. Go iside the world of transgender people. The poll question on the the front page is straight forward: Have you ever wished you could be the opposite sex? At the posting of the blog the answers are running 25% yes/ 75% no. Oh I did vote yes. That doesn't mean I want to have surgery at this very moment or even in the near future or ever. Has the thought crossed my mind at points in my life, and are there times I would have said yes? You better believe it. Larry King Live website On another subject, I watched very little of the Democratic presidential candidates debate on Logo, the gay themed cable network although I did see some of the recaps. Part of me is delighted as a transgender person that the candidates gave this serious time. I am also somewhat thrilled that the 2008 election affords citizens of this great nation an opprtunity to cover ...

With the thermometer here in the not so deep south threatening triple digits for the next three days, I thought it was time for another edition of the ever popular dress series. While lemonade and sweet iced tea are acceptable remedies for the hot weather in this part of the country, I also enjoy thinking about the cooler seasons. This particular dress certainly qulifies as it is what I regard as my Christmas dress. I have worn it many times to Kappa Beta Chrismas parties and other yuletide occasions. I bought it at a consignment shop in Fayetteville in fall 1998. This was a special trip as I got to meet several of the local sisters including the fantastic Kathy Louise. The consignment shop was run by a supportive woman and opened especially for us after hours. A couple of the wives also showed up. This was probably the first time I had gotten a real woman's advice as I tried on outfits which was very much appreciated. I ended up buying this dress along with a fuschia prom dress wh...

One of the things that amazed me when I started going out over nine years ago is the richness of the transgendered community in the Carolinas. I don't know if this is possible to determine, but it seems this region has a larger than average number of TG folks and therefore a large number of groups. I will try to keep up to date the local list to the right sidebar. I believe there is one or more groups that all of us can find a home. I will explain why below. For the first several months of 1998, I visited only Kappa Beta as it was convenient for me and provided fantastic support. Kappa Beta will always have a special place in my heart as that is where I came out. KB is a Tri-ess affiliate which means that it is primarily for heterosexual crossdressers and their wives/girlfriends. It is also mainly a social group which is very helpful for the new girls. KB meets once a month in Charlotte, NC and has been my most regular outlet. The one thing I am very proud of concerning KB is their...

I had a wonderful hypnosis session with Carmen Friday afternoon. It had been a while since we had talked due to vacations, moving, family visits, etc. Prior to all this I had her do a custom hypnosis CD for me which served as a wonderful booster in the interim. The CD session reaffirmed my ever growing feminine identity. I truly am Stephanie, and she will not be denied. While not going into all the details of our session, I discussed with Carmen my desire to find a girlfriend that truly appreciates me as a woman. Part of the conversation prior to our session involved me talking about playing the dating game. In that game, I felt pigeonholed into playing the role of the man... i.e. find the girl, go out, get married, get a house, have three kids, etc. Carmen said, "But that's not who you are." I had been approaching the dating game as if I were a man looking for a woman, but I really am a woman looking for a woman. Once again I had let society dictate the rules. In my hy...

I average going out en femme once a week now. I am so blessed that if I wanted to I could go out almost every Saturday to some group in the Carolinas. If it wasn't for my work schedule, I probably would! I love meeting new people and hearing their stories. Depending on the group setup, we usually have some combination of dinner, clubbing, and group discussion. I learn so much and feel so supported by being around the transgendered community. Look to the right sidebar of this blog for links to some of the TG groups in the Carolinas. You will find them all quite supportive. One thing I have become much more comfortable doing is going out solo. These solo outings involve trips to the nail salon, malls, and restaurants. I love getting my nails done particularly pedicures. I recommend everyone try it at least once! I am also comfortable going to the makeup counter especially MAC. It's nice to have a real woman help make your face pretty. In recent years, I have never had a problem b...

I promise I will get to some more meaty material in the future. My clothes are such a big part of me however. Like any woman, they reflect your personality and mood. The choices in color, material, and cut are limitless. From casual to formal, women's fashions really give the wearer a greater opportunity to express themselves. The ultimate expression in an outfit may be one that is custom made for you. You don't buy it off the rack in a department store or from leftovers at a yard sale. It can be completely unique, and it is made with you in mind. This is the dress I am having custom made for me: Now you may be asking... isn't this dress a bit impractical? Yes, it is completely impractical! This dress is in the neighbourhood of 150 years old. You don't see women at Wal-Mart wearing these much less at more formal gatherings. In fact, the only place one can see something similar is at Civil War reenactments or other similar historical tours. And I love it! I've been i...

This last weekend at the SCC planning meeting was truly inspirational. If you havn't already, click on the the Southern Comfort link to the right to learn more. Friday night, we listened to an all TG girl band called Jezebel at Stage Door in Tucker, Ga. We liked them so much we invited them to perform at SCC. A good number of the planning committee were there to give their thumbs-up. It wasn't an overly dressy occasion, but I wore a new gray patterned sleeveless top and my long black velvet skirt with my new dark brown open heeled platform shoes. Everyone woke up somewhat bleary eyed for the planning meeting itself the next morning at the hotel. I wanted to be comfortably dressed but still look nice. I chose a cream knit sleeveless top with a long light green cotton skirt and silver ballet type flats. I seemed to fit in a little better as some still chose casual, but many dressed quite similar to me. I love wearing my long skirts no matter the time or occasion. I thought that w...

Sorry for the lack of posts, but my male side was away on vacation. While I enjoy being away for a bit, my annual getaway does greatly stifle my feminine side. As my family does not know about Stephanie, my feminine side must be repressed temporarily. In a way, I become more conflicted with these trips as I become more comfortable with being Stephanie. Yes, the answer is an obvious one. Give Stephanie a vacation of her own! Well, something to work on... This weekend is very exciting as I will be attending the final Southern Comfort Conference planning meeting in Atlanta. I missed the first two so I have a bit of catching up to do. I am looking forward to volunteering as part of the tech crew at SCC. This is a wonderful group of people who put SCC together every year. If you haven’t already, visit sccatl.org for more information. SCC runs September 10-16. If you have any interest at all in attending, I suggest you make your reservations *now* before the hotel fills up. I will have more ...

I've decided to take a long and winding road approach to redoing my FAQ and then my biography. This could take a while, dear reader, but never fear! There is light at the end of the tunnel! So here's question #1: Why do you crossdress? I crossdress because I prefer women's fashions immeasurably to men's fashions. I find men's clothes quite boring and stiff. There is a logical reason for this. Men's clothes are designed to be functional and practical. When there is an opportunity to dress up, the choices are all taken from the same basic model (at least in western culture). Mix and match from collared shirt, tie, coat, and pants. If a man really wants to dress up, then get a black bow tie, a slightly ruffled white shirt, and a black jacket with something called tails. Booooooring. However we know that women over the past century have moved towards this model as well in many of their clothing choices. Women have taken on more of what used to be traditionally male...

I did this FAQ back in December, 1998, which was less then a year after going out en femme for the first time. I will try to do a rewrite of sorts in the near future, but this still should prove interesting. Why do you crossdress? I dress because it is a tremendous amount of fun! I have no other real explanation. I just know when I make myself into Stephanie (which is more than putting on a skirt and bra, btw!), I am completely happy. I love doing even normal things en femme such as shopping, dining out, cleaning the house, etc. Most of all, I enjoy being with the ladies of Kappa Beta and all the other beautiful girls I've met. As I mentioned in the opening, I am on a journey of sorts. I am not sure where this journey will take me as I suspect there may be more to my crossdressing than meets the eye. If that is the case, then I will deal with it as it comes along. Right now though, it is a fun *and* relaxing thing to do. Where did you get your femme name? Wil Rogers once said he...

The series continues with my first "real" dress. I bought a few formal dresses before this one. However I purged all of them (sad but true) prior to going out en femme for the first time in February 1998. That is a story for another time, but the good news is that I have not purged in all the time I've been going out. I wore this royal blue dress to the Kappa Beta Magnolia Ball in May 1998. As such, it is very special since this is the first formal dress I actually wore in public. The dress itself is a royal blue polyester satin with puffy short sleeves, longer in back than in fromt, and a little bow on the derrire. The dress is accessorized in white with the short heels, short gloves, and pearl necklace. It is not a style I would go for now, but I still love the dress and the pic. I had been thinking about getting a dress for the Magnolia Ball (which used to be Kappa Beta's annual formal outing). I wasn't sure how I was going to shop for one since I was nowhere n...

The following was originally posted in SCCLounge following the 2006 Southern Comfort Conference in September. Let me add my thanks to all those who made SCC 2006 a possibility. It had been five years since my last SCC, but I hear I picked a good one to come to. It was wonderful seeing some familiar faces and making some new friends. I put magical night in the heading because Saturday was just that for me (yes, pun intended). In August, I had the chance of visiting the home of performer, Robert Baxt, the Magic Castle in Hollywood, CA. I was visiting with my parents who do not know about Stephanie. The Magic Castle is a private club for magicians. You get in only if you're a member or an invited guest. There is also a dress code: coat and tie for men and dresses or nice pant suit for women. My parents and I had a great time as we rarely get a chance to live it up. However I knew the night would have been perfect if I could have been able to dress by the women's dress code. One g...

Will the madness never stop? How many dresses does she really have? And does she wear these poofy concoctions to the mall? The answers to these questions and mamy more, dear readers, coming up... but not today! The above dress has become my favorite dress by far. I consider it dress perfection on many levels. First, it is my favorite color, pink. Second, the corset strapless top keeps all the extra stuff in. Third, the skirt is to die for... four layers, floor length, and plenty of "poof." The swish factor of the skirt is off the scale! Finally, all that room on the neck and arms leaves plenty of room for accessorizing. The story behind the buying of the dress is almost as lengthy as the times I've worn the dress, and this may be the only one I can show you an actual catalogue picture. The color is slightly different, but it is the same dress: I saw this dress listed at several online stores in the $250-$300 dollar range. When I saw the pic, I knew I wanted it. However, i...

Had another nice outing today... this time I found four nice tops at Good Will (the one in Huntersville that always has some nice clothes) and two shoes at Payless. When I returned, I decided to put on something a little more white and expensive. The above is the result. Never fear though. I'll be little really good in this white frock before too long with a real photographer!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. When you put yourself out there, things are going to happen. It's just that when I'm dressed as my true self, those things are much more interesting. I had been wanting to get back down to Happy Nails in Charlotte to have my favorite manicurist, pedicurist, all around incredible person Holly do my nails. On a whim, I had a free afternoon and drove on down to the big city. Oh yes... as usual, that involved the usual hour of preperation (makeup, shaving, clothes, etc.). I've gotten my prep time down to half an hour if I don't have any shaving to do. Today it took 45 minutes, and I was ready to go. When I arrived at Happy Nails, Holly was already working with some customers. So Cindy took care of my nails. It was enjoyable as always, and the gang always treats me very nicely. I went to the drying area across from a couple of ladies. Soon a young blonde who I guessed was in middle school sat down next to me. She looked at...